IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniform.Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?Five reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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These days, around the world, in many countries, it is mandatory for
school
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students
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 to wear a
school
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uniform
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. Like anything else,
school
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uniforms
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 have both positive and negative sides. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
school
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uniforms
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 and try to draw a quick conclusion. I will start by looking at the disadvantages. One of the major points is that
uniforms
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 limit student self-expression. Teenagers,
in particular
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, are known for needing to express their emotions and their tastes in music, fashion, and style through clothing, hair, and piercings.
For example
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, in many parts of Europe,
school
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students
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 dress differently. They do not wear the same
uniform
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, so their creativity is not suppressed. In our country,
however
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,
students
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 may feel restricted. Because of that, hundreds of
students
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 are scared of wearing
school
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uniforms
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. A yellow pair of shoes or purple slips of paper could be seen as rebellion. One of the advantages of wearing
school
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uniforms
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 is that all the
students
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 wear the same clothes. They do not compare each other in terms of being rich or poor. Another positive point is that it saves time. When
students
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 wear a
uniform
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, it helps them save a lot of time as they do not have to select different clothes to wear to
school
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 every day. In conclusion,
while
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 there are both advantages and disadvantages, it is important to weigh both sides carefully. Depending on individual needs and circumstances, the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks or vice versa. Making an informed decision is key. Personally, in my opinion, it is better to wear someone’s own clothing or branded clothes rather than a
school
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uniform
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.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with additional examples or explanations. Your arguments would benefit from further elaboration.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words to improve the flow between paragraphs. Consider phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to better structure your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your intention to discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
You have maintained a clear structure throughout your essay, moving logically from disadvantages to advantages and concluding effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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