IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can be fixed by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved

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The approach to healthcare is different: some
people
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 try to take
care
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 of their
helthy
Correct your spelling
health
healthy
 alone but others prefer to go to the
doctor
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. In the second case sometimes doctors can't take
care
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 of their patients as they would want. Doctors in fact some days may be overstretched and can't spend
to
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too
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 much time with
people
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 and give them extra time and help.
This
Linking Words
 can create an uncomfortable situation because some
illness
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ill
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people
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 need someone like their
doctor
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, who takes
care
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 of them and give them all the
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
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 that they think they need. The first solution
at
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to
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this
Linking Words
 problem can be the payment of the cure for the problems that
people
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 created with their own lifestyle choices. indeed, providing a correct lifestyle can be good to have
a
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apply
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better healthcare. Another way to solve the problem is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education about how
take
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to take
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care
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 of
people
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's own health. At
last
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,
people
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 can visit their
doctor
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 more often, so many problems can be discovered and solved before they become serious. In conclusion, doctors have to do their work and help
people
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 when they need their help; but at the same
time
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,time
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people
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 have to understand when is really necessary to go to the
doctor
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 or when they can take
care
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 of themself alone.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dependency
  • Personal responsibility
  • Healthcare
  • Doctors
  • Over-reliance
  • Delayed diagnoses
  • Missed diagnoses
  • Excessive reliance
  • Medical procedures
  • Healthcare costs
  • Proactive steps
  • Education
  • Awareness programs
  • Primary healthcare services
  • Preventive healthcare
  • Chronic conditions
  • Collaborating
  • Personalized health plans
  • Self-care
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