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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.
#information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities
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The graphs indicate the monthly temperature in a
year
Use synonyms
 in
Brisbane
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 and
Canberra
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 in Australia respectively,
along with
Linking Words
 it, the number of rainy
days
Use synonyms
 in each month.
Overall
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, the average heat in
Brisbane
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 is higher than the
Canberra
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,
furthermore
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, some hottest months in the middle
year
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 in
Canberra
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 are equivalent to the coldest day in
Brisbane
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 during the same period of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total length of rainy
days
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 in
Brisbane
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 is higher than in
Canberra
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, in which the rainy seasons in
Brisbane
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 are at the beginning of the
year
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while
Linking Words
 the month with
longest
Correct article usage
the longest
show examples
reainy
Correct your spelling
rainy
days
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 shown in the middle of the
year
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 in
Canberra
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. In
Brisbane
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, the highest data could be seen in February at 30
degrees
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 followed by a consistent drop to 20
degrees
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 in July, similar to the other city, where the figure experience a more dramatic drop to 10
degrees
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 in July, which is the same as the lowest
degrees
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 in
Brisbane
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, the same month.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are more rainy
days
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 in
Brisbane
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 than in
Canberra
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, the most humid period in
Brisbane
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 is between January and March,
while
Linking Words
 in
Canberra
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, there are more
days
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 raining between June and August.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, brisbane, canberra, days, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average daily maximum
  • average daily minimum
  • rainfall
  • degrees Celsius (°C)
  • anomalies
  • trends
  • geographic location
  • climate zones
  • seasonal changes
  • data representation
  • comparison
  • temperature range
  • weather patterns
  • statistical analysis
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