Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In Britain,

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

are being taken care of in nursing homes where many nurses and caregivers are serving them. It is difficult to decide whether all those running costs are being incurred by the

government

or the family. It depends on the country’s political policy. Everyone must pay taxes for a living. The

government

must decide how to allocate their tax into respective transactions. So that when

people

retire, they can have their own entitlement when they are not able to make money.

On the other hand

people

with

families

deserve to be cared for by family regardless of financial obligation. The family should be supported in old age

Change preposition

show examples

the means of mental obligation. Old

people

Sometimes may think that they become useless unless their family supports them. From my point of view, it is good that the

government

has a strategy to provide a

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

plan to secure their

people

till the end of their

time

. Not just because of political policy, it is because of giving them back what they deserve to be. Old

People

at a young age, had been working for

families

and their countries by dedicating their

time

and efforts.

To conclude

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I agree with the

government

paying the elder generations’ living costs just because they should accept in return what they invested in. Old generations need to be treated by

families

in terms of mental and financial support. Rather than send them to be nursing home, they should spend their

time

with family by seeing their grandkids growing up. I suppose it would be great if old ages should spend the rest of their

time

utilizing

government

subsidies

while

enjoying their life surrounded by their

families

Submitted by maysweet1787 on Tue Apr 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

284 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

positive reinforcement
self-esteem
confidence
punishments
negative actions
consequences
fear
resentment
balanced approach
accountability
minor infractions
positive conduct
deter
understanding of right and wrong
excessively
learning environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether citizens should be allowed to use freshwater freely or governments should put restrictions on the amount of fresh water citizens can have access to has gained traction. In my opinion, while each view has its merits, I agree that water usage should be regulated.
6
band
Many employers offer their employees gyms, sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The provision of gyms and sports clubs by employers has become a subject of debate in contemporary workplaces. While some argue that these amenities are dispensable, others advocate for their necessity. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.
4.5
band
Some people feel that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Dealing with criminals is often one of the most controversial activities since the prosecutor have to judge the matter based on both the moral side and the harsh legal side. Different types of crimes have vastly different punishments that can also be based on the context of the crime. This has led some people pushing to set a unchanged punishment for a certain type of wrongdoings, while others argued that the circumstances of the crime matters. This essay will discuss both views, as well as giving its own opinion.
7
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?
The decline or disappearance of traditional festivals and celebrations in certain regions poses significant cultural and societal challenges. Firstly, it leads to the loss of cultural identity and heritage, erasing centuries-old traditions and customs unique to each community. This loss diminishes cultural cohesion and weakens the bond between generations.
5
band
Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It argued that homeschooling for the toddlers is the best option in comparison with send them to the kindergarten. In my personal opinion, attending actual kindergarten is the best option for children in their early childhood for two main reasons. First, conventional kindergarten is much more efficient in budget. Then, the needs for socialization which an important factor for youngster mental development only can be fulfilled by attending kindergarten.

Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many employers offer their employees gyms, sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.