Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

In Britain,

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

are being taken care of in nursing homes where many nurses and caregivers are serving them. It is difficult to decide whether all those running costs are being incurred by the

government

or the family. It depends on the country’s political policy. Everyone must pay taxes for a living. The

government

must decide how to allocate their tax into respective transactions. So that when

people

retire, they can have their own entitlement when they are not able to make money.

On the other hand

people

with

families

deserve to be cared for by family regardless of financial obligation. The family should be supported in old age

Change preposition

show examples

the means of mental obligation. Old

people

Sometimes may think that they become useless unless their family supports them. From my point of view, it is good that the

government

has a strategy to provide a

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

plan to secure their

people

till the end of their

time

. Not just because of political policy, it is because of giving them back what they deserve to be. Old

People

at a young age, had been working for

families

and their countries by dedicating their

time

and efforts.

To conclude

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I agree with the

government

paying the elder generations’ living costs just because they should accept in return what they invested in. Old generations need to be treated by

families

in terms of mental and financial support. Rather than send them to be nursing home, they should spend their

time

with family by seeing their grandkids growing up. I suppose it would be great if old ages should spend the rest of their

time

utilizing

government

subsidies

while

enjoying their life surrounded by their

families

Submitted by maysweet1787 on Tue Apr 25 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

positive reinforcement
self-esteem
confidence
punishments
negative actions
consequences
fear
resentment
balanced approach
accountability
minor infractions
positive conduct
deter
understanding of right and wrong
excessively
learning environment

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Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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