IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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There are some advantages and disadvantages between teaching
children
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 at
home
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 and
children
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 going to
school
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. Personally, I would agree with
children
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 going to
school
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. Based on my own childhood experience,
children
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 need to get knowledge (to avoid a repeat of experiences) of the outside world. Humans cannot prosper/develop alone. Teaching
children
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 at
home
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 is a form of isolation.
Children
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 might become antisocial and selfish. Less communication and negotiation
skills
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 would make them lower in sympathy and empathy
due to
Linking Words
 living in a small world (spoiled).
Children
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 going to
school
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 will see improvement through comparison and competition. They are learning and collaborating with each other. They may improve their social
skills
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 and cooperation
skills
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. They can learn about society and build their own community in the future. They will learn based on their experiences and be able to compare who is trustworthy and who is not.
On the contrary
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, teaching
children
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 at
home
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 may improve focus on education and parents not to worry about bullying and the ‘wrong friendships’. Parents can rule (discipline/raise)
children
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 without being disturbed by other different cultures.
Children
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 have been raised
according to
Linking Words
 family traditional ways
,
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apply
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 and would be able to sustain the family culture.
Children
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 who are open-minded and have social
skills
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 will not be afraid to communicate with others.They are more mature than
children
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 who are isolated at
home
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. Since they may have a variety of ideas from learning and (more than likely) higher EQ.
To sum up
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, it is best that parents decide based on the situation. Those
children
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 who have health conditions are often better taught at
home
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. In my ,opinion
children
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 going to
school
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 is better, and I agree with
this
Linking Words
 because we as a society and community will continue to survive.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic downturns
  • entrepreneurs
  • cultural implications
  • generic
  • identity
  • environmental considerations
  • carbon footprint
  • community interaction
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • promotion of competition
  • innovation
  • local communities
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