television is dangerous because it destorus family life and any sence of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#television #destorus #life #sence #community #people

Watching

has become the most common hobby in modern society, even though many people believe

this

habit can destroy family life and a sense of community. I strongly disagree with them because

this

technological device can be extremely useful for building relationships.

Firstly

, reuniting families to watch series or movies is an excellent manner to spend leisure time with your loved ones.

Moreover

, discussing interesting documentaries or interviews is the greatest strategy to keep in contact with family members. First and foremost, watching

with your family has been a trend since its creation.

Furthermore

, people often invite their loved ones to enjoy free time together during the weekends, and television has been the easiest entertainment choice for them, especially when the weather is not good.

For example

, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when individuals were not allowed to go outside, I used to watch a series with my mother every night. To summarize, TVs can be a perfect excuse to reunite families and

increasing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increase their time together,

besides

being a source of topics for discussions.

In addition

, individuals can learn details of many topics that have been highlighted by the media on

. So, after improving their knowledge about a certain topic, they can call their friends and family to talk about it, tightening the sense of community among them.

For instance

, at my place, I usually discuss economic matters with my father during lunchtime, using the information I had watched on television.

Therefore

this

technological device raises people’s curiosity about facts that have been happening around the world and makes them proactively talk with others. In conclusion,

can improve families’ relationships by getting them together to watch a movie or series. Even though many people believe

this

device can be destructive, I strongly disagree, as television has

also

proved to be the greatest source to raise discussions among close friends and family members.

Submitted by fredpolfernandes on Tue Apr 25 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear overall structure, with a good introduction and conclusion. Your ideas are well-organized and coherent, which makes your essay easy to follow. However, make sure to use linking words and transitional phrases effectively to connect ideas and create a smooth flow of information throughout the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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television is dangerous because it destorus family life and any sence of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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