It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #risks #lives

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Thanks to today's fast-paced life, taking

risks

is an inevitable thing for people in their lives.

However

, despite its danger, I still believe that the benefits we gain from taking

risks

outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, I concede that accepting doing things that are dangerous might be harmful.

Consequently

, the more an individual takes

risks

, the more threat will be there. Take,

for example

, those who are crazy about cycling in the woods; they are aware of the possibility of either death or stroke. Another disadvantage might be financial

risks

which could be taken by those who want to earn a dramatic profit from their investments.

For instance

, some people who invest and trade in cryptocurrencies not only don't earn any profit but

also

lose money.

On the other hand

although

the downsides to taking

risks

are a real concern, I feel that there are many reasons for us to continue it.

Firstly

, taking

risks

will help you to find out more about your selves, your characteristics, and your abilities. Whenever a person does an unusual thing and accepts its consequences, self-consciousness will appear.

However

, perhaps my strongest argument for

that is

taking

risks

will help you to reach the highest level of success which gives you a sense of accomplishment and helps you feel proud. As for me, when I want to get a high band score on an exam or have high degrees of freedom, I prove to myself that I should take some

risks

and sacrifice my unnecessary desires.

To sum up

although

I admit that sometimes taking

risks

is very costly and dangerous, wise usage of it benefits all of us.

Therefore

, I agree that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by mohamadhoseinvaeedi on Sat Nov 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Try to elaborate a bit more on the examples to make them stronger. For instance, when discussing financial risks, you could explain how calculated risks might lead to significant gains in detail.

coherence cohesion

Maintain the flow of ideas to improve coherence. Despite having a well-structured essay, you can enhance clarity by using bridging phrases such as 'such as,' 'therefore,' etc.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that give a clear statement of your position. This helps in setting a clear direction for the reader.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples which strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning cycling in the woods or investing in cryptocurrencies lends credibility to your points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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