IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Environmental damage is the problem of most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era ,
while
Linking Words
 there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons for the factors causing environmental degradation in numerous countries and who has to deal with the problem, it leads to intriguing arguments and broadens a person's horizon. There are pernicious factors that deteriorate the environment like overpopulation and deforestation ,and both governments
as well as
Linking Words
 individuals should take responsibility to combat
this
Linking Words
 difficulty . At the outset , one of the key factors in my point of view is the rapid growth of the human population ,which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the consumption of natural resources like air , food ,water , fossil fuels and minerals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it must be pointed out that deforestation is another factor
that is
Linking Words
 making the entire ecosystem unhealthy , and it would
also
Linking Words
 the usage of non-biodegradable plastic bags
has
Rephrase
also has
show examples
 an adverse effect on the climate.
For instance
Linking Words
 , a recent article published in Scientific American revealed that an unbalanced ecosystem can lead to plenty of complications
such
Linking Words
 as ozone depletion , global warming , the greenhouse effect and the melting of glaciers.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , the discourse proved that there are deleterious points that cause environmental problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, governments,
as well as
Linking Words
 individuals, must take appropriate measures to converse with the environment.
furthermore
Linking Words
 , it is noteworthy that authorities must enact
legislations
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
show examples
 to control the growth of the population and recycle waste.
In addition
Linking Words
, dense vegetation areas should be planted by individuals to balance the entire ecosystem and control climate change .
For example
Linking Words
, the ministry should enact laws to ban the usage of non-biodegradable plastic bags , and people stop using them to keep the atmosphere clean .
Thus
Linking Words
 , the previous statement showed how the cooperation between the authorities and the ones plays a vigorous role in the preservation of the ambience .
To conclude
Linking Words
, overpopulation and deforestation deteriorate the surroundings and governments ,
as well as
Linking Words
 ,people should take responsibility for safeguarding the surrounding by controlling the growth of the population and planting trees .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are presented with clear and logical progression. Pay attention to the flow of information and the organization of your supporting points.
Lexical Resource
Improve accuracy and consistency in the use of vocabulary. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range
Focus on using a wider range of complex structures and strive for more accurate and varied use of grammar.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: