Some people think that zoos are cruel and all zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #zoo #animals

Keeping

animals

zoos

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

being expanded all around the world. Some nations deem that

zoos

should be totally banned from

controling

Correct your spelling

controlling

animals

while

others assume that these places give a helping hand to conserve creatures. In

this

essay, I will discuss both these views and give my own opinion with examples. On the one hand, there is an exceedingly increasing number of animal lovers who complain about wildlife parks where most of which keep

animals

an unacceptable conditions

Correct the article-noun agreement

an unacceptable condition

unacceptable conditions

show examples

, especially in the third World countries.

Furthermore

, in most

zoos

animals

are kept

behing

Correct your spelling

behind

bars which is not suitable for them since

animals

are active creatures instinctively.

Additionally

, they are fed

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

vegetables or fruits

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are carnivorous and can affect badly their digestive.

For instance

, three months ago in

Iran

Add a comma

,Iran

show examples

nearly 59 lions died because of inappropriate diet.

As a result

, a high percentage of animal protectors oppose

Change preposition

apply

show examples

zoos

and refuse to visit these places and strongly make people aware of these huge prisons.

On the other hand

, the majority of people consider that

zoos

can be a protective option to preclude these creatures from dying out forever. Take pandas as an example. They

are perfectly protect

Change the verb form

are perfectly protected

show examples

chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

zoos

owing to prohibit

this

race from extinction. what's more,

this

view believers mention that

animals

Change noun form

animals'

animal's

show examples

real habitats are not appropriate anymore to survive since most of

localities

Add an article

the localities

show examples

are destroyed because of human activities

such

as logging, poisoning water supplies and so on.

As a consequence

, not only do

zoos

save endangered species but they

also

enhance the population of rare

animals

. In conclusion, communities are divided into two groups

about

Change preposition

regarding

show examples

the action of wildlife parks. Personally, I think that both views are correct to some extent but if the government observed and supported

zoos

with investment, Wildfire parks could conserve and block the extinction process.

Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on Wed Apr 26 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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