The table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbishment. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.

The table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbishment.  The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,  during the same two period.
The table illustrates the proportion of
visitors
to Ashdown Museum during the
year
before and the
year
after it was developed.
On the other hand
, the charts represent the
satisfaction
of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
during the same period.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the number of
visitors
had increased after the
refurbishment
and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped before
refurbishment
Correct article usage
the refurbishment
show examples
during the
year
.
However
, the
percentage
of
dissatisfaction
was at the highest position
as well as
no
response
was at the least in the
year
of
Change preposition
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before
refurbishment
while
the figure for
satisfaction
was higher than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no
response
and very
dissatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfied
show examples
during the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
after
refurbishment
. In terms of the table, there was an increase during the
year
of
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apply
show examples
after
refurbishment
at 92,000
visitors
. The proportion of
visitors
before
refurbishment
was up to 74,000
visitors
during the period. In the stage of charts, the
percentage
of
dissatisfaction
and
satisfaction
had to 40% and 30% respectively before the
year
of
refurbishment
.
Moreover
, the figure for no
response
had
at
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the lowest
percentage
at 5%. The proportion of very
satisfaction
and
dissatisfaction
were almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
between 15% and 10% respectively.
On the other hand
, after
refurbishment
Add a comma
,refurbishment
show examples
the
satisfaction
of
visitors
rose to 40%
whereas
very
dissatisfaction
had to 35%.
Furthermore
, the result of surveys of visitor
dissatisfaction
reached
at
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apply
show examples
15% and the
percentage
of no
response
and very
dissatisfaction
remained unchanged at 5%.
Submitted by opshorajhumpa2001 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, year, satisfaction, refurbishment, percentage, dissatisfaction, response with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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