IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is often argued that governments should provide a tuition-free environment for students who want to attend college. I strongly advocate
this
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 statement since
such
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 a policy may create an opportunity to get an
education
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 for poor
people
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 attitude helps to acquire many potential scientists. On the one hand, governments are elected for the benefit of society,
thus
Linking Words
 they should be responsible for their children's
education
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. University tuition fees are not affordable to every individual in the community. So, it could aid poor
people
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's
education
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,
moreover
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, it could increase the national literacy rate indirectly. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in Scandinavian countries, in Finland the Finnish government provide free university service for their own citizens,
as a result
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 of
this
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 approach they have a 98% literacy rate and they have the highest GDP across Europe.
Therefore
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, it can be inferred that the increase in literacy rate directly affects the decrease in poverty.
On the other hand
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, a tuition-free educational environment is significantly helpful for exploring potential scientists. It is important to note that science can be conducted in financially stable circumstances.
Therefore
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, many intelligent
people
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 could decide to attend college if it is free. So they become more tended to be discovered by their professors. One of my friends in university was found by our statistics professor as a high-potential student, and
then
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 he continued his postgraduate
education
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 and became a professor. Now he serves the community as a professor. In the beginning, he was thinking of doing trade to make money
instead
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 of joining the college. All in all, I firmly support
this
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 idea, because I believe it could be the relief of our salvation by finding researchers and assisting poor
people
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to make it more precise and clear. Instead of simply stating that you advocate for tuition-free university education, briefly outline why this is particularly important in the context of your points in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on enhancing the logical flow between ideas. For instance, you could use more linking phrases to connect your paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly, which will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide a few more specific examples of how tuition-free education has directly benefitted individuals or society in addition to the ones from Finland, to strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, and you support your argument with relevant examples that highlight the benefits of tuition-free education.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • University tuition
  • Public good
  • Economic growth
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Need-based grants
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Educational equity
  • Income-contingent loans
  • Graduate tax
  • Financial aid
  • Student loans
  • Subsidize
  • Taxpayer funding
  • Underappreciation
  • Workforce development
  • Access to education
  • Higher learning institutions
  • Government expenditure
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