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Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important function of music is that it helps people to reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#function #music #people #stress
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The primary aim of music to humanity is to curtail
anxiety
Use synonyms
.  In my opinion, despite the soothing nature of melody to anxious individual, I totally disagree as
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 effects is temporary and believe that stress reduction can only be achieved by preventing or removal of stressors through
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle and seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
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help when
need
Add the particle
toneed
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 be.                                     Melodies
has
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have
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being
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been
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 part of distraction therapy in medicine but it has a minimal outcome when it
come
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comes
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 to
anxiety
Use synonyms
 reduction and prevention. 
Feeling
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The feeling
A feeling
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 of pressure is an automatic way our body
respond
Change the verb form
responds
show examples
 to happenings within our environment. Stressors can be from our job, families,  growth and development, in every stage of our lives we encounter different tensions.  In as much as it's part of us many
sort
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sorts
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 for solo
as
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apply
show examples
ways to reduce
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 build
up
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apply
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, it can only be for
awhile
Correct your spelling
a while
show examples
 but engaging in healthy living and diet modification can create a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 decrease in one's
anxiety
Use synonyms
 level.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
terns
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terms
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 of failure, the individual 's positive
mind set
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mindset
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 can help to make him get
courage
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the courage
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 to start all over again.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, music can only take his mind off the problem immediately.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, seeking
for
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apply
show examples
a therapist is highly recommended for some persons with higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
anxiety
Use synonyms
, some need medical care,
Correct word choice
and
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when it is not gotten can be detrimental to
such
Linking Words
person
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persons
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 and those around them. Take
for example
Linking Words
,a known artist Bobby committed suicide after suffering from depression without being noticed as his song "
don't
Correct your spelling
Don't
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worry
Correct your spelling
Worry
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" was
source
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the source
a source
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 of encouragement to many not
making
Wrong verb form
make
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impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the author, had it been
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sourced
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
medical aid ,would still be alive not terminating his
live
Replace the word
life
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is said that songs can be relaxing and
calming
Wrong verb form
calm
show examples
 the nerves, I maintain that successful reduction of stressors is by living a healthy lifestyle and seeking appropriate therapy.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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