IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #zoo #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
First of all, I would like to tell you about something which is the vital thing on our planet. Animal rights are of paramount importance in our lives what I mean is every living thing should have rights. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both my view and my own opinion. As we all know, The earth has a lot of different and tremendous living things. As humans, we have a lot of opportunities
instead
 of
animals
. We can defend our families, themselves.
On the other hand
,
animals
 do not even have a habitat because of human generation. In spite of enough living areas, we occupy their rural space. In my opinion,
Zoos
 should be closed, I totally agree with the idea.
Zoos
 give very hurtful to
animals
 and their health.
Animals
 face neglect and adequate nutrition. animal violence has been increasing day by day.
According to
 the investigator, the number of endangered
animals
 has been rising so we have to protect their habitat. From my point of view, if
zoos
 can be closed, the majority of
animals
 can earn their health. As I mentioned before, they feel a lot of pain, and they lose their power inside the building. All they want is freedom. It's widely known that the name king of the jungle but nowadays we have taken their forest and have given only concrete. king has lost their legendry, we have to give them their respect, we should protect habitat as a conscious human generation. In conclusion, communities are divided into two groups regarding the action of wildlife parks but in my opinion, only one way should be.
zoos
 should be closed. we have to give back to wildlife that all
animals
, I deeply believe that, One day all
animals
 will be able to earn their freedom again.
Submitted by celilkilic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: