The diagram below shows the manufacuring process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacuring process for making sugar from sugar cane.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram gives information on making procedures for creating
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
there are seven stages in the process, beginning with growing
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
for several months and ending with drying and cooling. Looking at the process more specifically,
first,
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are grown in twelve to eighteen months by farmers, and after growing, those are harvested by either people or cranes. Once the harvesting process is completed,
then
Linking Words
they are crushed by machines which have two wheels and transformed into a type of juice and placed in a large tray
Next,
Linking Words
the juice is purified by a limestone filter. When the purifying procedure is completed , the juice becomes syrup by evaporating with heat in a large piece of equipment, and
then
Linking Words
it is centrifuged and separated
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from the syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
is completed after drying and cooling.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: