IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #money #sports #facilities #athletes
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Sports
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facilities
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 become essential parts for
athletes
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. Some
people
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 believe that governments should spend more money on
sports
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facilities
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 only for top
athletes
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,
while
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 others argue that government should allocate a
budget
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 for
sports
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facilities
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 for ordinary
people
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.
However
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, I side with those who believe that the government should spend money on ordinary
people
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's
sports
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facilities
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. On the one hand, the
budget
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 allocation for
sports
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facilities
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 only for top
athletes
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 will make the
sports
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equipment
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last
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 longer because not everyone can
use
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 the
facilities
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.
Furthermore
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, the limitation of
people
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 that
use
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 the
equipment
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 will
also
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 reduce the additional
budget
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 for maintaining the tools.
For instance
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,
athletes
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 can be more focused on their battle with well-
equipment
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. They can build their endurance and stamina easily.
As a result
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, the opportunity of winning the match will increase.
On the other hand
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,
sports
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facilities
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 for ordinary
people
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 will help society get healthier. By spending more on public
sports
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facilities
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, society can
use
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 good
sports
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equipment
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 easily. For illustration, the more well
sports
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equipment
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 public can
use
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, the more the rate of
people
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's health increases in the country.
Consequently
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, the rate of death will be decreased.
To sum up
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,
sports
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facilities
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 are important in human lives. By spending more
budget
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 on
athletes
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'
sports
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facilities
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, the government helps the
athletes
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 achieve their goals easily.
In contrast
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, spending more on public
sports
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equipment
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 can help society live healthier.
However
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, I am firmly convinced that allocating a
budget
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 for public
sports
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facilities
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 will help more
people
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instead
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 of only focusing on top
athletes
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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