IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #money #sports #facilities #athletes
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Sports
facilities
 become essential parts for
athletes
. Some
people
 believe that governments should spend more money on
sports
facilities
 only for top
athletes
,
while
 others argue that government should allocate a
budget
 for
sports
facilities
 for ordinary
people
.
However
, I side with those who believe that the government should spend money on ordinary
people
's
sports
facilities
. On the one hand, the
budget
 allocation for
sports
facilities
 only for top
athletes
 will make the
sports
equipment
last
 longer because not everyone can
use
 the
facilities
.
Furthermore
, the limitation of
people
 that
use
 the
equipment
 will
also
 reduce the additional
budget
 for maintaining the tools.
For instance
,
athletes
 can be more focused on their battle with well-
equipment
. They can build their endurance and stamina easily.
As a result
, the opportunity of winning the match will increase.
On the other hand
,
sports
facilities
 for ordinary
people
 will help society get healthier. By spending more on public
sports
facilities
, society can
use
 good
sports
equipment
 easily. For illustration, the more well
sports
equipment
 public can
use
, the more the rate of
people
's health increases in the country.
Consequently
, the rate of death will be decreased.
To sum up
,
sports
facilities
 are important in human lives. By spending more
budget
 on
athletes
'
sports
facilities
, the government helps the
athletes
 achieve their goals easily.
In contrast
, spending more on public
sports
equipment
 can help society live healthier.
However
, I am firmly convinced that allocating a
budget
 for public
sports
facilities
 will help more
people
instead
 of only focusing on top
athletes
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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