Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters

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There is a school of thought that the perfect route to minimize the time spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to work is to replace the

parks

and

gradens

Correct your spelling

gardens

close to the

city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

with apartment buildings for commuters

whereas

others do not advocate for

this

idea. From my perspective, I prefer to keep the existence of the

parks

and

garderns

Correct your spelling

gardens

in the heart of

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

Also

this

essay will shed light on both views and provide my viewpoint. On the one hand, some

people

argue that replacing the

parks

and

gardern

Correct your spelling

garden

gardens

close to the

city

center

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centre

show examples

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with

show examples

apartment buildings to get more waste

spaces

. If the park and garden

spaces

covert

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convert

show examples

in to

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into

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apartment buildings that will emerge a variety

benefits

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of benefits

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for

people

working in the

center

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centre

show examples

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

Firtstly

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Firstly

, the number of housing will increase as additional

spaces

so employees or official workers have more

optins

Correct your spelling

options

to live near the company. Following that, because

the

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of the

show examples

short distance between

house

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the house

show examples

and

company

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the company

show examples

, the transport time will be shorter than the present.

On the other hand

, others have a converse opinion that green

spaces

must be kept in the heart of

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

Fisrtly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, originally the rate of pollution in the

city

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

usually at the alarm level

that is

the reason why the

parks

and gardens exist in the

center

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centre

show examples

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

. They play a vital role as a lung of

city

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the city

show examples

to provide more oxygen and mitigate

the polluted

Replace the word

pollution

show examples

issues.

Moreover

, the

parks

and gardens in the

city

become paramount to provide

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show examples

entertainment area to avoid technological devices or educate children about plants and creatures.

In addition

, they are

also

a healing place for

people

under pressure from work, which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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people

are

Wrong verb form

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refresh

Wrong verb form

refreshed

show examples

and energized. With all of the

aforemention

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. From my standpoint, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that replacing the

parks

and gardens

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with

show examples

housing and

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

can

emerge

Verb problem

bring

show examples

several advantages for commuters;

however

, the green

spaces

in the heart of

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

are far more imperative for

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

and

human's

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human

show examples

health.

Submitted by lethithut123 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure spelling consistency within the essay. For instance, decide on either 'gardens' or 'gradens' and stick to it throughout.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of phrases and try to use synonyms or rephrase sentences to improve variety in your language.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, include more detailed, concrete examples to support your points. Theoretical arguments are strong, but real-life instances make your essay even more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the clear separation of paragraphs and ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear single main idea which is expanded upon with examples and explanations.

task achievement

Watch out for minor grammatical errors that can detract from the overall clarity of your message. Regular review and practice can help improve your grammar over time.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your viewpoint, effectively framing the discussion.

task achievement

You have successfully covered both sides of the argument with a balanced perspective before providing your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay structure is well-organized with a logical flow that is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

commuters
urban areas
housing availability
alleviating housing crises
public transport
traffic congestion
environmental health
biodiversity
recreational
mental health benefits
urban heat islands
green lungs
community interaction
cohesion
innovative urban planning
multi-use buildings

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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?