The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from

 sugar cane.
The chart below expresses the
producing
Replace the word
production
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process
for making
sugar
from
sugar
cane. Let’s start the essay with
growing
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the growing
show examples
process
of
sugar
cane. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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actually, takes at least 12 months to 18 months. And
then
it needs to have
process
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a process
the process
show examples
of harvesting.
Moreover
,
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
of harvesting has two types.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
of them is
doing
Wrong verb form
done
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by
Change preposition
with
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the help of
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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or technology, second of them is doing it by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
. And the next
process
called
Add a missing verb
is called
show examples
crushing and it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
done by machine as I said you.
Furthermore
, that machine makes juice out of
sugar
cane. And
then
, the Limestone filter makes it pure.
After
this
process
, the Evaporator makes the juice into syrup. And it is before the final stage and it is called
Centrifruge
Correct your spelling
Centrifuge
. It is
device
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a device
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which separates
sugar
crystals from syrup. And
then
final
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the final
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stage is drying and cooling the
sugar
. I hope
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
you understood how to manufacture the
sugar
.
Submitted by iielts998 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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