Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional past times than spending all day indoors.

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In the modern world, children are using electronic entertainment and staying all day indoor rather than participating in more traditional pastimes. So, some people will agree with

this

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others not.

This

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essay will discuss both points of view and draw my conclusion

at the end

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. On one hand, having electronics as entertainment can be beneficial for youngsters which can satisfy their curiosity. To be clear, If a kid wants to know about a specific topic or an article, he or she will use social media platforms to get the answers.

Furthermore

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, the internet has a variety of different topics, so it is the easiest way to explore the world

while

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staying at home.

Additionally

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, many entertainment companies make video games to attract teenagers who are depending on computers to pass the time.

For example

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, whenever a kid feels alone and has free time they will spend it playing on PS5 or video games on computers.

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why young people nowadays are relying on electronics.

On the other hand

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, despite the benefits, there are drawbacks to depending on the Internet. There is no denying the fact that playing outside is better than staying indoors with an addiction to the network. To clarify,

although

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youngsters enjoy their spare time indoors, the disadvantage of

this

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can affect them negatively. To illustrate, the longer they stay in, the laziest they will be, which can harm the mental and physical health of the human.

Moreover

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, it is common for kids to have high energy, so the best way is to play outside with others.

Thus

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, they will be more sociable and will stay in shape.

To sum up

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although

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the merits, people would prefer to spend their leisure era out rather than indoors. More and more individuals are too dependent on the network which can be harmful. The best way is to have physical activities with the children.

shxxx2003Thu Apr 27 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional past times than spending all day indoors.

Your opinion

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this topic?

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the diadvantages?

Why do you think self discipline is better than motivation?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .