IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, many small scale local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to to shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

#years #scale #shops #customers #travel #centers #malls #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's years, numerous small local shops have closed because customers commute to large shopping centres or
malls
 to do the shopping because they provide entertainment areas and fun activities for all ages and can have a strong impact on social development.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both positive and negative effects on development.
To begin
 with, people tend to spend a long time shopping
due to
 their convenience services .
For example
,
malls
 provide a wide range of stores, products at lower prices and bands or preferences all in one place which helps shoppers to find everything they need without having to travel between several stores.
Moreover
,shopping centres or
malls
 are safe shopping environments because they always offer security and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
surveillance cameras which make it more relaxing and enjoyable than small local boutiques.
Otherwise
, regardless of all the benefits they can offer , these tremendous and modern buildings have various negative impacts,
such
 as the decline of small businesses and local shops in the surrounding area
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
leading to their closure and the partial decrease of the local economy ,it can
also
 cause the economic inequality and foster high-income customers .
In addition
, it can damage the environment by using a huge amount of natural resources and generating waste including plastic bags and packaging. In conclusion, I strongly believe that shopping in shopping centres and
malls
 can be very interesting to save money
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
energy and even time for shoppers
instead
 of small local stores with few services and choices .Though, they contribute to thriving and developing the economy of a country .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly and effectively address the essay prompt. Consider including a thesis statement to outline the main points.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to the task prompt. Organize your ideas more clearly to provide a comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: