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Band 4.5

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries are declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem?

#countries #people #visit #art #galleries
There is no doubt that
tourism
 is
source
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the source
a source
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 of income for many countries. Recently, many nations rely on
tourism
 as
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the
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main
nation
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national
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 income source.
Althought
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Although
tourism
 result in many
advantage
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advantages
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 there is many drawbacks
that
is
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are
show examples
 serious to take
in
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into
show examples
 consideration. On one side, One of the key and foremost advantages of
tourism
 is increasing the
nation
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nation's
show examples
 income .
For instance
, many countries like
turkey
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Turkey
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 rely more than 40% of
Correct article usage
the nation
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nation
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nation's
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 economy on
tourism
people
 all around come to Istanbul to enjoy the view and nature.
Moreover
, food and sweets are popular in Istanbul that have huge
varies
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variety
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 of options
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that matchs
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matchs
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match
 different
favor
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favour
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 of
people
.
Secondly
,
tourism
 creates many jobs for local
people
.
For example
, many teenagers work
in
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during
show examples
there
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their
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 summer vacation to help aid their family in
part time
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part-time
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job
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jobs
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 which
last
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lasts
show examples
 for
short
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a short
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period
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periods
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.
Finally
,
Tourism
 wide the vision and horizon for local
people
.
Further more
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Furthermore
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, many local
citizen
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citizens
show examples
 learn new languages , cultures , and cosmetics ,
Also
Correct word choice
and Also
show examples
Add an article
a
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connection with
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an individual
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individual
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individuals
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 across the world. Despite the advantages mentioned early, One
of
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apply
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critical
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the critical
a critical
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 drawback of
tourism
 is that it
affect
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affects
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 the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 security of countries
due to
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 number of tourist in an area many crime may take place if security is not managed in
right
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the right
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 way. Another serious concern,
that
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is that
show examples
make
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makes
show examples
people
 may come to the country and stay in an authorized stay
result
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resulting
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 in increasing the number of homeless in cities. On balance,
although
 it might
seen
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be seen
see
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 that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many cons
but
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apply
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the pros of
tourism
 outrace the cons special
in
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since
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has
ultimate
Correct article usage
an ultimate
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 plan to manage the number
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital era
  • online galleries
  • allure
  • economic factors
  • cultural pursuits
  • societal interests
  • innovative
  • engaging exhibitions
  • virtual reality (VR) experiences
  • accessible
  • contemporary
  • promote
  • art education
  • awareness
  • foster
  • appreciation
What to do next:
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