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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The map below shows two potential locations for a shopping mall in the city of Brandfield. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows two potential locations for a shopping mall in the city of Brandfield. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #locations #mall #city #brandfield #information #features #comparisons
From the map, we can see two possible spots for a shopping mall in Brandfield. There are two potential spots, S1 and S2. To start with, S1 is located in the north
side
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 centre,
while
 S2 is located in
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
. First of all, I can tell you about
S1
Correct article usage
the S1
show examples
 location.
River
Add an article
The river
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 is
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
side
 of it and on the left
side
, there is a housing
estate
.
Also
, on the west of S1, there is a road and on the south, there is a railway. On the east of S1, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 empty space.
On the other hand
,
S2
Change preposition
in S2
show examples
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
north-east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 industrial
estate
 and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
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, there is a city centre. The railway is on the right
side
 and the road is on the left
side
 of S2. Compare with S1 and S2, there are similarities.
First,
there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 empty place near them, respectively on the right
side
 of S1 and on the left
side
 of S2.
Also
, the railway and the road are surrounded
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 them. But the differentiation between them is that S1 is near the housing
estate
,
on the other hand
, S2 is near the industrial
estate
.
Overall
, there are some
differenciations
Correct your spelling
differentiations
differentiation
 and similarities
on
Change preposition
between
show examples
 S1 and S2.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, on the other hand".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side, estate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping mall
  • city center
  • suburbs
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • environmental considerations
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • development
  • consumer behavior
  • green spaces
  • residential area
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