Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places, while others argue it is okay to be allowed. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is true that cellphone usage is more significant for society.Some hold that individuals that mobile usage should be agreed upon in public environments and human gathering places.

Whereas

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others

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believe different arguments,that it is possible to be conservation.

This

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essay intends not only to analyse both views but

also

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to explain why I am in favour of the former viewpoint.

On the other hand

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, proponents of the first view consider that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

using electronic

phones

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in social places is basically used for their day-to-day purposes.

To begin

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with, mankind practices continuing their connection with families and friends in different ways.

In other words

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, during their official working hours, they had to manage multi-task duties through their smartphones.

As a result

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of joining Zoom meetings, checking emails and answering phone calls.The next prominent thing to tell here,if emergency case they should have to continue their connection with

others

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because

that is

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the very essential thing for them.

Finally

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, making good connectivity among

others

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,doing more job-related duties and keeping better bonds which emergency times allowed to conservation of mobile drives in the public environment.

On the other hand

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, supporters of the latter new claim that using smartphone devices in public range should banned . Another vital point to consider is that it may disturb

others

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likewise

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in the temple, church or any religious place

while

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they are worshipping.

Furthermore

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, students or other exam candidates in exam halls it already not allowed to use or take mobile

phones

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according to

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exam rules and regulations.

Finally

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, using cell

phones

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in outside places is

also

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harmful to other concentration and engaging rules . In conclusion, every viewpoint has its own logic,

although

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banning to use of electronic gadgets in public fields and I strongly believe that no other factor can be more important than allowing to conservation of mobile

phones

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in crowded areas the most. In a balanced approach,both using

phones

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in local areas and banning should be given equal helping hands in cell phone use in crowded and outside environments

Submitted by nimeshafernando126 on Thu Apr 04 2024

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structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This makes your argument more convincing.

language

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.

content

You've done a good job discussing both viewpoints on the topic as well as stating your own position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Disrupt
Infringe
Social rudeness
Public transport
Necessity
Convenience
Emergencies
Personal freedom
Designated areas
Compromise
Context
Advocating

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Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places, while others argue it is okay to be allowed. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Student today can access the information online so libraries are not necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disavantages.

Some people say that spending the national budget on space exploration wastes resources. They insist that that fund should be spent on people living on earth. Do you agree or disagree?