IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. Do you agree or disagree

#universities #numbers #study
University
 is a place to study for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 after graduating from high school and wants to acquire
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 understanding of
specialize
Wrong verb form
specialised
show examples
 subjects in order to be well-prepared
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a particular job.
University
 sometimes has a requirement for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain or every
subject
 that accept equal numbers of
gender
 to maintain the culture in a
subject
. From
this
 perspective, I certainly disagree with the statement.
To begin
 with,
University
 provides a
subject
 to their
student
 which can be chosen
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the
interesting
Replace the word
interests
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 students perspective. Meanwhile, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
university
 that makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regulation to limit the quota for each
gender
 for the purpose of equal numbers of male and female which makes a difficulty for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
 to choose their interested
subject
. In my point of view, the
university
 should not accept their candidate students based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
thus
 they must accept
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the grades of the
student
 since it would be fair for the candidates to enter the
university
.
In addition
, It is true that the
university
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes the requirement of
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 number in every
subject
 because they want to maintain the culture. Despite
this
, it will obstruct the chance for the
student
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 has more
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ability in the
subject
 but they are not accepted because of
gender
,
moreover
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 worst case the future will not get better developing
due to
 the policy of
university
 about the equal
gender
.
To sum up
, the
university
 should be wise to make the agreement for their system and they should consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the ability of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 regardless of
gender
.
Submitted by farel2300 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: