Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. others believe people have become more independent. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued that
people
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are becoming more and more reliant on other
people
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,
whereas
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some think that
people
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have turned into less reliant.
This
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author discusses both sides and agrees that
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apply
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the
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reliance is reduced because of the development of
technology
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and economic globalization. It is true that
people
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cannot live without
technology
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.
Instead
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of asking someone for help or depending on them,
people
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use technological equipment to help them solve problems and support in daily life
such
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as work or study. Because information can be accessed more quickly,
people
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reduce reliance on other
people
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. A good example of
this
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is that when
people
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get lost, they prefer using Google Maps to ask the residents around
due to
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the convenience of modern
technology
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.
However
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, the interaction between
people
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cannot be substituted by high-tech. Teamwork skills are imperative, so
people
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must depend on each other to increase efficiency.
Furthermore
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,
people
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need cooperation in many circumstances because of
the
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societal challenges. Leading to
people
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being more dependent on others in work and study. In spite of the need for cooperation, the globalization of the economy creates more job opportunities.
That is
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why
people
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are more flexible in arranging their work and less rely on other
people
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to support their job. Taking young
people
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nowadays
for example
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, they easily change companies constantly to suit themselves without worrying about obstacles. Taking everything into account,
although
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people
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depend on others in some circumstances, they are more rely on
technology
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and more comfortable because of the globalization of the economy.

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relevant specific examples
Your essay has a clear response to the task and addresses both views. However, the examples provided can be more detailed and relevant to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could provide more specific scenarios or data for the points made about globalization and technology.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should ideally present one main idea or argument that supports your thesis. Adding topic sentences can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
complete response
Ensure you proofread your essay for minor grammatical issues and typos. For example, 'less rely' should be 'less reliant' or 'rely less'. These small mistakes can slightly affect the readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
logical structure
You presented both sides of the argument logically and coherently. This is excellent for coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
The main points of your essay are well-supported, and the overall structure is solid. This shows a good understanding of essay organization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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