Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. others believe people have become more independent. discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that
people
are becoming more and more reliant on other people
, whereas
some think that people
have turned into less reliant. This
author discusses both sides and agrees that Correct article usage
apply
the
reliance is reduced because of the development of Correct article usage
apply
technology
and economic globalization.
It is true that people
cannot live without technology
. Instead
of asking someone for help or depending on them, people
use technological equipment to help them solve problems and support in daily life such
as work or study. Because information can be accessed more quickly, people
reduce reliance on other people
. A good example of this
is that when people
get lost, they prefer using Google Maps to ask the residents around due to
the convenience of modern technology
.
However
, the interaction between people
cannot be substituted by high-tech. Teamwork skills are imperative, so people
must depend on each other to increase efficiency. Furthermore
, people
need cooperation in many circumstances because of the
societal challenges. Leading to Correct article usage
apply
people
being more dependent on others in work and study.
In spite of the need for cooperation, the globalization of the economy creates more job opportunities. That is
why people
are more flexible in arranging their work and less rely on other people
to support their job. Taking young people
nowadays for example
, they easily change companies constantly to suit themselves without worrying about obstacles.
Taking everything into account, although
people
depend on others in some circumstances, they are more rely on technology
and more comfortable because of the globalization of the economy.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
relevant specific examples
Your essay has a clear response to the task and addresses both views. However, the examples provided can be more detailed and relevant to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could provide more specific scenarios or data for the points made about globalization and technology.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should ideally present one main idea or argument that supports your thesis. Adding topic sentences can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
complete response
Ensure you proofread your essay for minor grammatical issues and typos. For example, 'less rely' should be 'less reliant' or 'rely less'. These small mistakes can slightly affect the readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
logical structure
You presented both sides of the argument logically and coherently. This is excellent for coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
The main points of your essay are well-supported, and the overall structure is solid. This shows a good understanding of essay organization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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