As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

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For many holidaymakers it is more likely to become an option to
travel
to
space
in the future, it is because of the advancements in technology. The main benefits of
this
are knowing about the equipment used in a spaceship and the feel of viewing
space
being orbit;
however
, the key drawbacks are cost expenses and fear of failure to return.
Due to
technological developments, travellers are pushing themselves to explore
space
in future. Travelling
space
has the advantage of witnessing the beauty of a gravityless environment.
For example
, One of the prominent Astronauts, Sunitha Williams once expressed in a news conference that floating in the sky makes me feel like a superhero who can fly. and another benefit is gaining profound knowledge of the equipment used in spacecraft.
For instance
, the pioneer of the private
space
agency; Elon musk once said in an interview that, his organisation provides deep information to the customers who are willing to
travel
to Mars; about the technology used in the craft.
On the other hand
, it is too expensive to
travel
beyond the sky.
In addition
, not everyone can easily reach
space
because the journey of entering outer orbit puts a lot of pressure on the human body so it may lead to sudden death by heart malfunctioning.
However
, if people still manage to reach
space
they still have the fear of a return journey because
due to
the higher pressure, some systems in the aircraft may get damaged so there might be some chances of failure. In conclusion, despite having some benefits,
space
travel
is only affordable to the wealthiest people.
Furthermore
, it required special training to manage the obstacles and physical challenges.
Submitted by eeretimaheshsritej on

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coherence
Try to use a range of linking words to ensure the smooth flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs for each main point, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Discuss advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way, and provide a clearer, more explicit conclusion summarizing your opinion.
lexical resource
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
structure
You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion, which aids in clarity and understanding.
examples
You included specific examples to support your points, such as references to Sunita Williams and Elon Musk, which strengthens your arguments.
balanced discussion
Your exploration of both advantages and disadvantages shows an attempt to cover the task comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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