IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES. To what extent do you agree.

#world #place #years #government #amounts #money #forces
The world has evolved in the
last
 centuries and now it has become much safer than in earlier times. Government should stop spending hefty amounts of money on their armed forces. I agree with the given statement and we will discuss the same in the next paragraphs.
Firstly
, many things have changed in the
last
 100 years like borders, economies and the way
countries
 are run by governments. Most of the
countries
 around the globe are developing and some of them are already developed. Every country is focused on the idea of making their economy stronger and not involving them in any war situation which can derail them from the path of becoming a stronger nation.
For instance
,
countries
 like New Zealand, and India never attacked other
countries
 first or started a war because they are well aware of the fact that it will slow down their economies.
Additionally
, every year Canada is reducing their army budget as they have good relations with other
countries
 and they support peace.
Therefore
, these
countries
 are setting an example that we can stay in good harmony without spending too much on the armed forces.
On the other hand
, many developed nations spend a humongous amount of money on the defence department. The United States of America and Russia are the biggest examples of it. Recent reports shows that America spends almost 1 trillion USD on their army which is way bigger than many
countries
' economy. A survey conducted by an International magazine states that tax-payers all around the globe believe that their money is not being used in the right direction and it will never help
countries
 to establish peace.
To conclude
, I would argue that governments should spend large amounts on their armed forces. On the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 contrary they should collaborate and should aim to make a peaceful environment for future generations.
Submitted by kuldeepakdhir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • International Diplomacy
  • United Nations
  • pandemics
  • socioeconomic improvements
  • literacy rates
  • economic development
  • social stability
  • military expenditure
  • deterrent
  • cyber-attacks
  • terrorism
  • biological warfare
  • critical areas
  • well-rounded approach
  • prosperous society
What to do next:
Look at other essays: