Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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From the past to the present, mental and physical

strength

Use synonyms

, are

both

Use synonyms

two important factors for being successful.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many people, especially

athletes

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, invest a lot of time, trying to strengthen these two. There are two different points of view about succeeding in sports, in which one of them is to spend more time exercising and improving physical measures, and the other consists of more activities for upgrading mental issues. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

both

Use synonyms

points of view about mental and physical methods are being discussed, and

both

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related examples are going to be mentioned.

Firstly

Linking Words

, lots of people believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the more time the

athletes

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or sports teams spend on upgrading their physical stability, the more successful they become.

For instance

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, taking a quick look at Cristiano Ronaldo's life and noticing his awards and honours, it is obvious that his hard work and his limitless practice for body

strength

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

played an important role in his journey.

However

Linking Words

, there are many decent athlete or

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

beyond

Correct word choice

but beyond

show examples

their hard work, they do not gain

honours

Correct article usage

the honours

show examples

they deserve.

Overal

Correct your spelling

Overall

show examples

, there are several examples which are showing us the effect of physical improvement for

athletes

Use synonyms

on their

success

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On the contrary

Linking Words

, many people, think that mental

strength

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is enough for

success

Use synonyms

For instance

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, Lionel Messi, the biggest football player in the world, beyond his struggle for physical improvement, had

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

very strong mental behaviour.

Additionally

Linking Words

, without mental

strength

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, not only he could not achieve most of his trophies, but

also

Linking Words

would not

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

be the most honoured player worldwide. In brief, mental

strength

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can

also

Linking Words

affect the path of

success

Use synonyms

for different players and teams.

Finally

Linking Words

, in my point of view, there should be a balance between

both

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issues. Likely, if there is no mental power, even the

most

Change the adjective

apply

show examples

strongest player will lose his or her mind,

also

Linking Words

, without physical power, there would not be any

success

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for

athletes

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Accordingly

Linking Words

, an optimum value for

both

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of them should be obeyed, so it will result in

success

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for them.

Linking Words

Capitalize word

show examples

sum up,

both

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theories that have been discussed are important and paying attention to just one of them can lead

athletes

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to lose their professional life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they should plan for a balanced lifestyle and practice, which is considering

both

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sides. An optimum decision can lead them to

success

Use synonyms

ali.r.mirkazemiSat Mar 22 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Work on developing clearer topic sentences and maintaining a logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should clearly support your thesis statement.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. The examples given could be more detailed in how they relate to your argument.

task achievement

You successfully introduce the topic and present contrasting viewpoints, which is a good way to engage the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and reinforces the argument for balance in mental and physical strength, demonstrating a thoughtful perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

384 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

some people think that to be successful in sports, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many things that used to be done in the home by hand are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

For school children, teacher have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.