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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened?

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In
this
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contemprorary
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contemporary
 era, it is believed that
rised
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raised
sociali
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social
 isolation might be caused by
spread
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the spread
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 of the internet platforms for online communication. There
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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may be a lot of different causes for
this
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, but in my opinion, it is
resulted
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result
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due to
Linking Words
 social
networks
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 that replaced meetings in real
live
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life
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.
Moreover
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, huge
companies
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, which developed online social platforms, make a lot of job places that sometimes do not need
in
Change preposition
apply
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people
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 who
work
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
the office
an office
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office
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offices
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.  One reason for
this
Linking Words
 problem might
connected
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be connected
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 with
changed
Correct article usage
the changed
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 way of life,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was produced by social
networks
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. In
today*s
Correct your spelling
today's
 world, many
people
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 prefer to communicate
by
Change preposition
via
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 the internet because it may help them to
safe
Replace the word
save
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time
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.
Additionally
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, new technologies made online conversations highly comfortable as
people
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 can see and hear each other in
real
Add a hyphen
real-time
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time
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 even if they location in different cities or countries.
For instance
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, the most popular social
networks
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Instagram, Facebook, and Telegram enable
people
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 to use video calls, and it safe
time
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 for
people
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 who want to talk but do not want to waste
time
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 for
commut
Correct your spelling
commute
.  Another possible reason
of
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for
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 spreading networking, which leads to increased offline meets, is new IT
companies
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. Obviously, huge technological corporations, which
supports
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support
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 social
networks
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, generate a variety of
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work places
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workplaces
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.
Furthermore
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, some of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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companies
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prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
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 hire many
people
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 for
online
Add an article
an online
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job
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jobs
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
VK, one of the most popular social
network
Change to a plural noun
networks
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the Russian Federation, three from ten employees
work
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 out of
office
Correct article usage
the office
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. 
To sum up
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, two possible
reason
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reasons
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 for social isolation
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 from networking might be
developed
Correct article usage
the developed
show examples
 online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 for communication, which
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
Use synonyms
people*s
Correct your spelling
people
time
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, and IT
companies
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 that hire
people
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 for online
work
Use synonyms
.

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