Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence?

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It is often argued that some personal qualities are given from parents’ genes, whilst others claim that our circle of communication and real-life models are the core
factor
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factors
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for human intelligence. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides and explain why I completely agree with the second statement.
Firstly
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, there are beliefs that a person’s intellect comes from ancestors through genes. Generally, a majority of great musicians and poems inherited their talents from their fathers,
grandmother
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grandmothers
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or other close relatives.
For instance
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, Mozart’s father was a gifted violin player as well, which engaged his son in music.
Moreover
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,
it is clear that
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it was inherited naturally, making Mozart a world-known musician.
On the other hand
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, another part of the community is confident that
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the surrounding
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surrounding
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surroundings
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is
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are
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the main reason, myself included. Mostly, a person’s intellect and life goals are appeared depending on their friends, family and factors which happen.
Furthermore
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, education is
also
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vital when it comes to intelligence, which may be unaffordable for everyone
due to
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their financial situation. As an example, researchers from Aberdeen Universities proved that the majority of successful scientists and businessmen had high education being surrounded by clever and genius people.
Hence
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, it is more logical to become an intelligent human surrounded by a well-minded and motivated society.
To conclude
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, intelligence is unique,
however
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, it might be not
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also
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apply
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inherited from God-gifted relatives, but
also
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developed and affected by the circle of communication. As talents are respected in every society, it does not matter how they
appeared
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appear
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, but is significant that people notice
this
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fact and try to improve it respectively.
Submitted by bolatovnaa01 on

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task response
In your introduction, you clearly state the two opposing views and your opinion. Ensure that your thesis statement mentions both sides explicitly for maximum clarity.
coherence cohesion
In some places, transitions between ideas can be a bit smoother. For example, use linking words to better connect your examples with your main point.
task response
While your examples are relevant, try to elaborate on them a bit more to clearly show how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph addresses a distinct point related to the topic.
task response
You effectively present your viewpoint and provide arguments for both sides of the discussion.
task response
You use specific examples, such as the case of Mozart, to illustrate your points, which strengthens your argument.
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