Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence?
It is often argued that some personal qualities are given from parents’ genes, whilst others claim that our circle of communication and real-life models are the core
factor
for human intelligence. In Fix the agreement mistake
factors
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and explain why I completely agree with the second statement.
Firstly
, there are beliefs that a person’s intellect comes from ancestors through genes. Generally, a majority of great musicians and poems inherited their talents from their fathers, grandmother
or other close relatives. Fix the agreement mistake
grandmothers
For instance
, Mozart’s father was a gifted violin player as well, which engaged his son in music. Moreover
, it is clear that
it was inherited naturally, making Mozart a world-known musician.
On the other hand
, another part of the community is confident that Correct article usage
the surrounding
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
is
the main reason, myself included. Mostly, a person’s intellect and life goals are appeared depending on their friends, family and factors which happen. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Furthermore
, education is also
vital when it comes to intelligence, which may be unaffordable for everyone due to
their financial situation. As an example, researchers from Aberdeen Universities proved that the majority of successful scientists and businessmen had high education being surrounded by clever and genius people. Hence
, it is more logical to become an intelligent human surrounded by a well-minded and motivated society.
To conclude
, intelligence is unique, however
, it might be not also
inherited from God-gifted relatives, but Rephrase
apply
also
developed and affected by the circle of communication. As talents are respected in every society, it does not matter how they appeared
, but is significant that people notice Wrong verb form
appear
this
fact and try to improve it respectively.Submitted by bolatovnaa01 on
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task response
In your introduction, you clearly state the two opposing views and your opinion. Ensure that your thesis statement mentions both sides explicitly for maximum clarity.
coherence cohesion
In some places, transitions between ideas can be a bit smoother. For example, use linking words to better connect your examples with your main point.
task response
While your examples are relevant, try to elaborate on them a bit more to clearly show how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph addresses a distinct point related to the topic.
task response
You effectively present your viewpoint and provide arguments for both sides of the discussion.
task response
You use specific examples, such as the case of Mozart, to illustrate your points, which strengthens your argument.