IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#countries #people #cars #environment
It is often held that with rich nations, communities acquire more vehicles. I am one of those who believe that there are more disadvantages for the environment in procuring a wagon because of the high percentage of CO2 emission from car exhaust but we cannot deny the fact that it is one of our basic commodities. Nowadays, automobiles have been the means of transportation that most people use and procuring
auto
Correct article usage
an auto
show examples
 is seen as a basic commodity. We use to drive in many ways
such
 as going to work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or buying groceries. When we have an important meeting to attend that needs on-time attendance, without a private vehicle it will almost be impossible to arrive early
hence
 opting for public utility transport will require us to wait for a certain schedule before it drove off.
On the other hand
, using several numbers of the automobile in a certain area will cause more traffic. In cities where most people will commute for ,work it is during peak hours that the visibility of car exhaust is seen.
This
 smoke which goes into the air causes pollution which later on will affect the community as
this
 can cause health problems.
This
 way, it would be better if people will opt to buy electric cars
instead
, as
this
 does not create the same amount of CO2 emission as opposed to the vehicles that use gas. In conclusion, it is true that van is nowadays part of our daily living we should
also
 equate
this
 by taking care of our environment because we are still the ones who will benefit from our actions.
Submitted by donnabel651 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: