The widespread of the Internet gives people more freedom to work and study at home instead of traveling to office and school. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#internet #people #freedom #work #study #home #office #school

In today’s world, the advent of technology in jobs and education has been a controversial issue for individuals. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will try to illustrate the pros and cons of the given statement. On the positive side, the newest research demonstrates that in recent years most companies have a tendency to employ remote and online staff

instead

of old organization ways because they can pay less salary to the theme and cooperate with professional people who live in different locations without any place limitation.

Additionally

, online education or career can preserve the environment and reduce air pollution.

Subsequently

, less commuting makes healthier

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

than before because people must not go to the workplace or university with their vehicle or public transportation.

As a result

, individuals work and study with their private computers at home and do not burn fossil fuels and create greenhouse gases.

For example

, in corona

pandemic

Add a comma

,pandemic

show examples

almost all companies and educational places have to make a change in their usual plan and convert to remote work and online classes. In that period of time, the amount of air pollution in capital cities

such

as Tehran has decreased considerably. On the negative side, the internet and mass media may hurt our physical and mental health. Indeed, working and studying at home without specific movement will be dangerous for humans in any age group. Diabetes and obesity are acceptable samples for

this

issue.

As a consequence

, people who have online jobs should exercise

according to

the correct schedule to prevent chronic disease. In conclusion, from my perspective, the benefits of technology and the internet in career and educational aspects certainly outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by aidanabatchian95 on Mon May 01 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The widespread of the Internet gives people more freedom to work and study at home instead of traveling to office and school. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Many people believe that physical fitness is essential for academic performance. How does exercise benefit school performance and what can people do to maintain a regular fitness routine? Give explanations and examples for your response.

Some people believe governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both view and give your opinion.