The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City from 2003 to 2012.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City from 2003 to 2012.
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The given graph charts illustrate information about the changing
rates
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of
crime
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in three different
areas
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; Burglary, car theft and Robbery during 9 years (2003 to 2012), in New Port City Center.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
rates
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of
crime
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happened in Burgalry from 2004 to 2005 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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proportion of almost 4000, followed by car theft in second place with a
number
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of
incidents
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of almost 3000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest rate of
crime
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was Robbery under 1000
incidents
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in 2005.
In addition
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, during 9 years the
number
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of
incidents
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from that three
areas
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased and only depicts
the
Correct article usage
a
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slight increase in some years. The rate of
crime
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in Burglary was highest from 2003 to 2004 , more than 3500
incidents
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happened during that year.
In contrast
Linking Words
from 2004 to ,2008 the
number
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of
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
in these
areas
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reduced to 1200
incidents
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.
Furthermore
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, the
rates
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of
incidents
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slightly increase in the next year until 2012. The
number
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of crimes from car theft
areas
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shows different trends. It was highest from 2003 to 2004, with almost 3000
incidents
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.
However
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, fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 2000
incidents
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in 2006 and slightly increased from 2007 to 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
, rose again from 2009 to 2012. The lowest
number
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of crimes happened in the Robbery area. The highest
rates
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of
crime
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happened from 2003 to 2005 (under 1000
incidents
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). In the next year, the
number
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of
incidents
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in
this
Linking Words
area is still under 1000
incidents
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(2006 to 202012).
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, crime, areas, number, incidents with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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