The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The bar graph illustrates the change in time to spend household-matter in a week in three different categories of
women
and
men
. Generally, as the number of
children
is increased, it can be seen significant growth in
women
's figures
while
men
's are slightly decreased. Regarding the
figure
without
children
,
women
's
figure
shows 30 hours, and
this
is more than third-two times of
men
. The gap of
this
time considerably grows as the number of
children
increases.
Women
who have one or two
children
consume the daily tasks for 50 hours per week,
while
the result for
men
remains unchanged.
Moreover
, when they have three or more
children
, the
women
's
figure
reaches around 60 hours which is more than three times of
men
's
figure
. In conclusion, there is a huge difference in
time-related
Correct your spelling
time related
show examples
to the number of
children
they have. But
this
trend could appear only for
women
, and
men
's figures did not change no matter how they had
children
.
Submitted by pekora on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, children, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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