IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is universally accepted that eating too much sugar has negative effects on people’s health. Therefore, some believe that governments should control the amount of sugar people consume. Others think that it is the responsibility of an individual to control their sugar intake. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sugar #effects #people’s #health #believe #governments #control #amount #people #responsibility #intake
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is common to see that
people
 eat
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of products that comprise
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
. It has a negative influence on their health. Some
people
 think that how much
sugar
 is consumed by
people
 should be controlled by governments,
while
 others believe that it is individual responsibility and everyone should take
control
 themselves. I tend to agree with the latter argument and will support my opinion with examples. First and foremost, supermarkets provide a wide selection of
food
, which is not always wholesome and nutritious, but high in fats and
sugar
. I suppose that governments can impose high taxes on sugary products.
Furthermore
, they can provide more
food
that is
 rich in antioxidants and vitamins
instead
 of a big amount of sweet things to
food
 shops.
Therefore
, the number of
people
 buying sweet things will decrease.
On the contrary
,
people
 know and are aware of what they buy and what kind of
food
 is healthy for them. Choosing what to eat is a basic human right. No one should
control
 the choice of eating.
For instance
, if a person eats a big amount of
sugar
, no one should limit that choice. A person should
control
 what he eats by themselves because only he knows what can damage their health and what is not.
To conclude
, consuming a lot of products that contain a lot of
sugar
 has a negative impact on
people
's health. In my opinion,
people
 should
control
 how much
sugar
 they consume and nobody can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their decision.
Submitted by gulnara.7676 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: