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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.
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To begin
Linking Words
, the table and the pie chart provide information on the sources of the police budget in a particular area of Britain and how the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent in 2017 and 2018 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main
income
Use synonyms
 came from the national government
while
Linking Words
 the main expenditure was the salary in
both
Use synonyms
 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
income
Use synonyms
 received from local taxes got increased
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 around £1m within a one-year period of time
while
Linking Words
 the
money
Use synonyms
 that came from other resources
also
Linking Words
 showed a slight upward trend in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The total
income
Use synonyms
 in 2018 was higher than the previous year about £13m.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on buildings and transportation remained the same in
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018 which is 17%
whereas
Linking Words
, the salary expenditure got reduced by 6% in 2018.
However
Linking Words
, the amount spent on technology nearly doubled in 2018, compared to the
last
Linking Words
 year showing an upward trend.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the main
income
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 particular police budget came from the national government in
both
Use synonyms
 2 years
whereas
Linking Words
 the
money
Use synonyms
 came from local taxes got increased significantly in 2018.
However
Linking Words
, when it comes to expenditures, the largest portion was for salaries
while
Linking Words
 the least amount was allocated for technology in
both
Use synonyms
 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, income, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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