IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Sir, The purpose of my writing today is to lodge a complaint about my accommodation in the college hostel. My name is Garima, and I recently joined
this
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 college to pursue higher studies. Fortunately, I got a
room
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 on the school campus to share with another student.
Initially
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, it was fine to share with another person, but now I am facing a lot of problems related to hygiene, noise and some others. Let me explain the issues to you: my roommate is not maintaining proper hygiene in the
room
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 and washroom.
Moreover
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, she is a music lover and plays music all the time at a loud volume, so I cannot concentrate on my studies.
Furthermore
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, I was not able to sleep in the light, because she turned on the
room
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 light the whole night. Considering the above, I talked to her and put all my problems in front of her. Unfortunately, she ignored them. If possible, please allow me a private
room
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 as my part-time job. My quizzes will start next week, so I need proper sleep. Your kind cooperation would be most appropriate. Yours Faithfully, Garima

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task response
In your letter, your problem and request were clearly stated. This is crucial in ensuring that the reader understands your issue and your needs.
task response
You might consider giving more specific examples or solutions to strengthen your argument further. Perhaps suggesting a preferable location or type of roommate could provide a clearer picture of your needs.
coherence and cohesion
Including a brief conclusion or a more assertive call to action at the end of your letter could make your request even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance clarity and impact, vary your sentence structure and use more complex grammatical constructions where appropriate.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter is well-organized, making it easy to follow your train of thought.
task response
The polite tone throughout your letter is appropriate for the context and conveys respect towards the recipient.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively used paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in understanding and readability.
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