IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments sshould focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #sshould #focus #pollution
Nowadays, in order to avoid illness and disease it's necessary to introduce rules and policies to prevent
such
 environmental
pollution
as well as
 housing issues. I strongly agree with
this
 viewpoint and
following
this
 essay will discuss my viewpoint in detail and reach a conclusion.                                                                                                 In today's fast-paced world, there have been increased
problems
 with environmental
pollution
 all over the world.
Due to
 the running technology advancements, many
people
 do want to utilize the latest products and services which costs arm and leg. In that case, many
people
 purchase vehicles and there is a cause enhanced heavy traffic congestion.
Similarly
, the is
also
 huge damage to the environment
as well as
 the public.
In addition
, several
problems
such
 as asthma, hearing
problems
, and damage from the smoke had been occurring.
Therefore
,
such
pollution
 can be threatening to all human beings
while
 negative influence on the environment as well .                                                                              
On the other hand
, there are several housing
problems
 that can be straightforwardly identified these days. Or even the forests are destroyed by the
people
.
This
 will have a negative impact on nature. Plus,
people
 are using it for their own purpose to destroy natural attractive places. In conclusion, the government should launch taxes and regulations to avoid environmental
pollution
 and housing
problems
. If
this
 could be done properly, it will be beneficial to avoid
such
 illness and disease.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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