popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and relaxing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions

World championships and other global events, in terms of sports, are described as essential phenomena in reducing tensions and

also

diminishing patriotic attitudes in a safe environment. Despite

this

, I disagree that these worldwide events can reduce conflicts between countries, particularly by means of not a harsh way. First and foremost, if there is any conflict of interest between two or more communities,

such

competition can make the situation even worse. Actually, the governments have a problem with each other whether there would be any sporting occasion or not.

For example

, we can simply imagine two nations that are in a war, and in an international

game

, one of them wins.

This

can lead to the promotion of hatred feeling of the loser

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the dominance sensation of the other.

Secondly

, competitions do not provide a safe ambience, and there are many things behind

this

For instance

, you can go on the streets just after finishing a

game

Then

, you can see violent behaviours of people against the other team.

Moreover

, the level of violence will increase when societies are in a war.

Therefore

, these events can not reduce patriotism

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but can improve that.

However

, we should consider that international matters can help to gather people from all over the world. By

this

means, they can meet each other and find out they are all humans, and

this

will lead to changing their perspective towards life. As convincing as

this

point is, just a few individuals meet in a stadium and a larger population would follow the

game

on the television or radio. In conclusion,

while

global

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

can modify the attitude of a group toward nationalism, it has no effect on the

overall

result. Even if the countries were not been in a war, following a

game

we can see more cruelty among team advocates.

Submitted by sheida95jahanbekam on Thu May 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violencein the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that violence in the media relates to an increase in youth crime. This writer agrees with this statement because the various kinds of violent news are hard to control and it is hard to release how they affect people.
7
band
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In recent times, there has been a significant shift towards self-employment as a preferred career path, surpassing the traditional choice of working for companies or organizations. This trend can be attributed to several factors. However, it is important to acknowledge that being self-employed is not without its challenges.
8
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that self-confidence plays an axial role in everyone's fulfilment. Nowadays, it is becoming popular to convince youngsters that they have the capabilities to reach any objectives they want provided that they try their best. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages to this issue which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. As far as I am concerned, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
6
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
Hey man, What’s up? I hope you are sound and healthy. It’s been very long since I heard from you. I am very glad that you asked for advice on camping.
8.5
band
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undeniably, women have equal rights as men. Some individuals have a live belief that females should be encouraged to struggle at borders and in water just like males. Therefore, I accord with the given statement to a large extent. In the next composition, I will elaborate more about this in detail.

popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and relaxing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violencein the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?