Nowadays, many people in developed countries are extremely overweight. What are the causes? What are the solutions to this problem ?

These days, the majority of
people
who live in advanced countries are strikingly obese.
This
is mainly because of poor diets and lack of physical activity. There are a number of solutions that
people
must be aware of to deal with the
issue
of being overweight.
Firstly
, a reason many
people
suffer from
obesity
is
due to
poor diets. A diet
that is
high in
calories
, sugar, and unhealthy
fats
can contribute to
obesity
.
In other words
, fast food and processed foods,
such
as burgers and pizza, are often extremely high in
calories
and low in nutrients, which can lead to the accumulation of
fats
in the
body
, resulting in weight gain.
Secondly
, overweight conditions are
also
owing to a lack of physical activity. A sedentary lifestyle with minimal physical movement can lead to
obesity
.
This
is because the human
body
requires some form of exercise in order for the
calories
to be burned. There are two effective solutions to the problem of being overweight. One way to tackle
this
is for
people
to eat a healthy diet by avoiding processed foods and starting to eat organic foods. By doing
this
and eating food
that is
low in
calories
and
fats
, it allows the
body
to burn the
fats
and
calories
already present in the
body
, leading to weight loss. Another way to solve
this
issue
is to exercise regularly. Regular exercise can help burn
calories
and improve
overall
health.
For instance
, running for thirty minutes three days a week is enough to maintain the
body
in good and healthy condition. In conclusion, eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly are effective in dealing with
this
issue
. If
people
apply these solutions,
obesity
will no longer be considered an
issue
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Improve the depth of examples: Although there are examples, they could be more detailed to fully support the points made.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions: Although your essay flows well, adding a few more transitional phrases can enhance the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Add more depth to your conclusions: The conclusion is good, but it can be more impactful by summarizing the main points and restating why the solutions proposed are effective.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion: The essay begins with a clear introduction to the problem and ends with a concise conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure: The essay follows a logical structure, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
Complete response to the question: You have addressed both parts of the question, providing causes and solutions to the problem of obesity.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas: The ideas are clearly articulated and easy to understand.
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