The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The given diagram illustrates the process by which
sugar
is produced. There are seven steps in the process, from growing sugar
cane
to drying and cooling sugar
in the container.
The first step is
that sugar
cane
is grown in an especial period of time about 12 to 18 months. The next stage is that,
it's picked either by the farmer or by an automatic vehicle. After that, Remove the comma
apply
sugar
cane
is crushed because of high pressure from a mechanical machine which produced juice
from sugar
cane
. In the fourth stage, juice
is purified by a limestone filter, which means that Add an article
the juice
sugar
cane
became a liquid after
this
part.
The fifth step is evaporation, in this
process, the juice
is heated in a container. then
, after a while
juice
became syrup. after
this
point, sugar
crystals are separated from the syrup by turning the ventilator which name is the centrifuge and finally
, put into the calendar until the hole of them became dry and cooling.Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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