IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You use the local swimming pool often, and during one of your visits, you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter describe what the problem was tell what the swimming pool staff have done about it suggest your own solution to the problem.

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I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with the state of swimming pools.I have been a member of your club for more than 5 years and I always had a good experience.
However
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,
last
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 week I wanted to use the pool around 9pm and as soon as I got in the water I felt something touching my foot and figured out there was a piece of plastic object. Fortunately, I did not get injured. I believe staff checks the pool on a daily basis and seems like it may not be enough. People trust you with their life and letting
this
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 kind of objects in water can have negative consequences later.There should be more strict regulations applied on the use of pools. Members should leave all their stuff in lockers and get fined when they do not follow the rules. I hope my concern will be taken into consideration to achieve higher customer satisfaction and prevent any issues which may endanger human life and health. Best regards, Laman

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the letter opens with a clear indication of the topic or problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include paragraphs that each focus on a single idea for better clarity.
Task Achievement
The letter successfully addresses the prompt by describing the problem, actions taken, and suggesting a solution.
Task Achievement
The letter maintains a formal and suitable tone throughout.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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