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Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,during the samw two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,during the samw two periods.
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The provided table displays the amounts of tourists who visited Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 during the year before and the period after it was reconstructed and the pair of pie graphs illustrate the consequence of the surveys about their satisfaction with their visit , during both years of time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there was a significant increase in the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to a
museum
Use synonyms
 after redevelopment and visitor satisfaction was the least before rebuilding it, but after ,refurbishment the ratio increased considerably. Before the refurbishment, around 74,000
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 satisfaction rate was
also
Linking Words
 low, where half of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 were not satisfied with the old
museum
Use synonyms
, where around 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of tourists were dissatisfied and 10%
extremely
Add a missing verb
were extremely
show examples
 dissatisfied,
while
Linking Words
 a third proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 were satisfied and a small minority of
visitors
Use synonyms
 very satisfied. After redevelopment, the number of tourists rose significantly with just the number nearly 92,000. Around three-quarter of the majority of guests were satisfied with the
museum
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the satisfied and very satisfied proportion was 40% and 35%, respectively. The
dissatisfied
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
 ratio decreased by 30%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, around 5% of
visitors
Use synonyms
 were not sure about their stand.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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