The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,during the samw two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,during the samw two periods.
The provided table displays the amounts of tourists who visited Ashdown
Museum
during the year before and the period after it was reconstructed and the pair of pie graphs illustrate the consequence of the surveys about their satisfaction with their visit , during both years of time.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was a significant increase in the number of
visitors
to a
museum
after redevelopment and visitor satisfaction was the least before rebuilding it, but after ,refurbishment the ratio increased considerably. Before the refurbishment, around 74,000
visitors
visited Ashdown
Museum
and
also
satisfaction rate was
also
low, where half of the
visitors
were not satisfied with the old
museum
, where around 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of tourists were dissatisfied and 10%
extremely
Add a missing verb
were extremely
show examples
dissatisfied,
while
a third proportion of
visitors
were satisfied and a small minority of
visitors
very satisfied. After redevelopment, the number of tourists rose significantly with just the number nearly 92,000. Around three-quarter of the majority of guests were satisfied with the
museum
whereas
the satisfied and very satisfied proportion was 40% and 35%, respectively. The
dissatisfied
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
ratio decreased by 30%.
Lastly
, around 5% of
visitors
were not sure about their stand.
Submitted by kattir2411 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: