some people say that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, people listen to various genres of

music

Use synonyms

in every corner of the world. Some experts argue that

music

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would bring various

groups

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of a community together,

while

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others do not believe in

this

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idea. I am in favour of the first idea for two main reasons, which will be described comprehensively in

this

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article. In recent years, the rate of producing

music

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has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased constantly, which has been bringing every group of communities together.

Firstly

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music

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is common sense for all human beings, which means that all humans can listen to

music

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and completely feel the background senses or ideas of that

music

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. I take “People of the World”, a perfect and multicultural

music

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by Michael Jackson, as an example, which was produced to show various ethnic

groups

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such

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as Americans, Middle eastern, Hispanics, and Asians of different ages can play and sing together without any gaps.

Secondly

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music

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is the best way to describe thoroughly feelings, memories, and ideas indirectly.

In other words

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, if you want to say that you have fallen in love with somebody and tell it through

music

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, the lover will understand you better and actually will respond better to you,

Also

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, it could reduce the gaps.

On the other hand

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, when we come to the generation gaps, we will find that different generations and cultures cannot understand themselves.

For instance

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, older people usually are fond of Jazz or Classical arts, compared to teenagers

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are fans of Rock or Hip-Hop

music

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Consequently

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, these

groups

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do not understand each other and it brings mixed challenges,

although

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some novel

music

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groups

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combine these types of

music

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together to create common sense.

For instance

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, David Garret as a great violinist and master in the Rock genre produced extraordinary classical-rock

music

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, which is listened various

groups

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for

Linking Words

this

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reason, these novel genres reduce the differences between ages and cultures. In a nutshell, in my idea generally,

music

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could bring various people of different cultures and ages together, for two main reasons

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common sense for all humankind and the best way to describe ideas, feelings, and memories.

aradzandieh.dvmFri May 24 2024

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task achievement

The introduction provides a clear statement of your position, but it could be improved by directly stating your opinion rather than saying it will be described. Consider rephrasing to make a stronger initial impact.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main points are evenly developed. The first body paragraph is stronger compared to the second. Balance both parts for a more cohesive argument.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'the rate of producing music has been increased constantly' could be better stated as 'the rate of music production has constantly increased.'

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as Michael Jackson and David Garrett, adds credibility to your argument.

task achievement

You have effectively conveyed complex ideas in a clear and understandable manner, such as music being a common sense for all humankind and a tool to express feelings, memories, and ideas.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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some people say that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

Foreign language should be part of curriculum of the school. Do you agree or disagree?

You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference. Write a letter to a former teacher. In your letter: give details of the job explain why it is important to you suggest what information your teacher could put in the reference

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, governments have been significantly investing vast sums in artworks. Some proponents argue that this substantial artistic investment could be more judiciously directed towards other essential sectors.

A second language is regarded as essential to success in the modern world. It should be compulsory for all children to study a second language as soon as they start school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?