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Band 6

Today, many mothers take care of the family and do not go to work. Some people believe that the government should pay them their salaries. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#mothers #care #work #people #government #salaries
It is irrefutable that the mother is the backbone of any family so more and more
women
 chose to do the housework rather than follow their career paths. Some people opine that they should receive payment from governments
while
 others believe that it’s their responsibility to
work
 as well. I agree with the incipient notion. On the one hand, in the 21st century in most parts of the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
women
 have independence and nowadays they are entitled to have the same rights as men.
Therefore
, numerous
mothers
 prefer to
work
 simultaneously
while
 they upbringing their children.
Thus
, they are quiet because they know that they are capable of earning
money
 to satisfy their kids’ needs.
Moreover
, divorces are becoming increasingly common in recent years and the majority of
mothers
 are afraid because if they are jobless and their men leave ladies will suffer from poverty and will be no longer able to look after the kids.
Hence
,
mothers
 desire their own savings and funds. On the other side of the argument, I firmly believe that if
mothers
 receive
money
 from the government
this
 will considerably ease their lives.
Firstly
,
women
 are busy coping with a variety of chores every day
such
 as cooking, cleaning, etc. So if they have to go to
work
, moms will not have enough time to take care of their offspring.
Thus
, the kids will start to eat fast food
instead
 of freshly cooked by their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and will spend hours on their phones waiting for
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to get back home after
work
.
Secondly
, I
women
 receive funds anyone in the family will know their role.
For instance
, men will go to
work
 in order to make
money
 for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,
while
women
 will stay at home to end that any of the family members will feel cosy and loved. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that I support the idea that governments should donate
money
 to
mothers
 and
this
 will result in the family’s well-being.
Submitted by elitsankova2005 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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