Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?
These days, a number of
children
are encountering more pressures from academic, social and financial problems. one of the main reasons for this
is the influence of social media leading to peer pressure and unrealistic standards. To tackle this
issue, children
should not spend too much time
on social media.
the root of the problem is workload management and not dividing your time
properly between your studies and work. Additionally
, sometimes, adolescents suffer from it, leading to psychological problems in work-life balance and their studies, for example
, in some countries, although
teachers and parents scold children
for several issues, they do not listen to them and spend their leisure time
on bad activities, causing some negative effects. Furthermore
, today's youth is influenced negatively by educational institutes and their social circles. Whilst in the classroom, students are forced to study for longer hours, learn lessons by heart and be subjected to hefty competition, which has no apparent fruitful purpose other than just to bring high grades, as demanded by teachers.
To tackle this
problem, firstly
, governments should execute some plans such
as the implementation of mindfulness and stress-relief programs in the curriculum can be the best idea. secondly
, some content should be banned in the mainstream media, damaging children
's minds in a negative way. Notably, parents always should supervise them what their interests. Thirdly
, socialízing plays a significant role in their communication skills but having said that, contacting other people in the proper way can affect positively time
management and other things.
In conclusion, by having educational programmes for both parents and children
, these problems can be overcome easily.Submitted by raufpasayev83 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the various causes and provides potential solutions to the pressures faced by children, which is good. However, to strengthen your task response, try to elaborate more on specific examples and concrete measures in detail.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective, but the essay would benefit from a more precise breakdown of the main points within the introduction to better guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words to clarify the relationships between your ideas. This will help in making the essay flow more logically.
task achievement
Try to develop each point more thoroughly by using examples or evidence where applicable. This will increase the clarity and comprehension of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively and suggests feasible solutions.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and potential measures, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have identified multiple sources of pressure on children, which demonstrates a comprehensive view of the issues.