Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?

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These days, a number of

children

Use synonyms

are encountering more pressures from academic, social and financial problems. one of the main reasons for

this

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is the influence of social media leading to peer pressure and unrealistic standards. To tackle

this

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issue,

children

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should not spend too much

time

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on social media. the root of the problem is workload management and not dividing your

time

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properly between your studies and work.

Additionally

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, sometimes, adolescents suffer from it, leading to psychological problems in work-life balance and their studies,

for example

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, in some countries,

although

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teachers and parents scold

children

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for several issues, they do not listen to them and spend their leisure

time

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on bad activities, causing some negative effects.

Furthermore

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, today's youth is influenced negatively by educational institutes and their social circles. Whilst in the classroom, students are forced to study for longer hours, learn lessons by heart and be subjected to hefty competition, which has no apparent fruitful purpose other than just to bring high grades, as demanded by teachers. To tackle

this

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problem,

firstly

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, governments should execute some plans

such

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as the implementation of mindfulness and stress-relief programs in the curriculum can be the best idea.

secondly

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, some content should be banned in the mainstream media, damaging

children

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's minds in a negative way. Notably, parents always should supervise them what their interests.

Thirdly

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, socialízing plays a significant role in their communication skills but having said that, contacting other people in the proper way can affect positively

time

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management and other things. In conclusion, by having educational programmes for both parents and

children

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, these problems can be overcome easily.

raufpasayev83Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the various causes and provides potential solutions to the pressures faced by children, which is good. However, to strengthen your task response, try to elaborate more on specific examples and concrete measures in detail.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is effective, but the essay would benefit from a more precise breakdown of the main points within the introduction to better guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words to clarify the relationships between your ideas. This will help in making the essay flow more logically.

task achievement

Try to develop each point more thoroughly by using examples or evidence where applicable. This will increase the clarity and comprehension of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively and suggests feasible solutions.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the causes and potential measures, showing a good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You have identified multiple sources of pressure on children, which demonstrates a comprehensive view of the issues.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
peer pressure
consumer culture
high expectations
mental health support
mindfulness programs
stress-relief
extracurricular activities
unrealistic standards
social media influence
advertising targeting
mental health education

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Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this problem?

These days, it is becoming increasingly popular for people to live in another country for either work or their studies. While many people can find greater opportunities abroad, others may struggle to adapt. What are the advantages of living in a foreign country and what are the disadvantages?

A lot of people find it difficult to write letters and often avoid doing so altogether. Letter writing is a dying art. Do you agree with this statement?