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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many parents are unhappy with their children playing violent games and watching violent movies. How it can effect children and what can be done to solve this problem

#parents #children #games #movies #effect
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It is common knowledge that the majority of adults find violent media and movies objectionable to children. Even though it is just a game or a movie, it contains bad behaviour that can affect how kids behave towards their surroundings. First of all, they may increase the crime rate among juveniles. It's expected that all sorts of violent
games
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 have an age requirement that players must be at least 18 years old to buy them.
However
Linking Words
, it's still relatively easy for kids to reach these
games
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. The reason why game companies set up an age requirement is that children, especially teenagers, are still developing themselves physically and mentally.
Therefore
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, they are easily susceptible to their surroundings because their minds are not mature enough to distinguish what's good from what's bad.
As a result
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, if they start playing these sorts of
games
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, it might stimulate their desire to commit crimes,
such
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 as fighting and using harsh words in public areas.
On the other hand
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, parents can prevent or reduce the impact of
this
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 kind of media.
Although
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 kids can easily access entertainment sources, elders should restrict their use of them.
For example
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, Netflix has an account solely for children’s use. That way, it will help parents supervise what their juveniles are watching.
Furthermore
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, not giving them easy access to gadgets can
also
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 prevent them from playing
games
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 freely without the elders' acknowledgement. In conclusion,
although
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 violent entertainment negatively affects children, parents should take the necessary measures to solve the problem.
Submitted by sinan_yalcindag27 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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