At present time, the population of some contries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #contries #adults #people #situation

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The issue of whether it is good to have more

people

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at a young

age

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than

people

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in old

age

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has long been controversial.

Although

Linking Words

there are advantages to having more young adults in the country, I believe that the drawbacks outweighed the benefits in terms of different circumstances. On one hand,

it is clear that

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having a relatively large

number

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of young adults helps develop

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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as they are relatively

engergetic

Correct your spelling

energetic

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

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with the elderly. Youngers have

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apply

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better physical health and strength to deal with daily routines. They are strong enough to contribute the

society

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, which

people

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in old

age

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may not be able to work

due to

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their physical condition,

such

Linking Words

as suffering from knee pain and back pain results in getting hurt easily.

Therefore

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, younger seems to be

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

in contributing productive power to

society

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. Another point to note is that the elderly are always related to health problems which imposed medical burdens on

society

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. They have a relatively high risk of suffering from disease which needs to be cured by using public resources. Public funds can be made used

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apply

show examples

effective

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effectively

show examples

and wisely

instead

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of excessively focusing on medical if the

number

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of adolescents is larger than the elderly.

On the other hand

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, having a large scale of young adults in a country has disadvantages in terms of increasing crime rate and insufficient

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apply

show examples

degree courses. With regard to the influence among peers, since

people

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young

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a young

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age

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do not have a well-developed mind, they may follow their friends to do something damaging the

society

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and to themselves by underestimating the consequences.

For instance

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, if their friend

ask

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asks

show examples

them to steal things in the supermarket, they may commit it just because of fun and peer

influency

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influence

influences

, which in turn increases the rate of crimes.

Moreover

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due to

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the large

number

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of youth, it is not difficult to see that there

are

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show examples

competitiveness among degree courses, leading to some of the students do not have chances to attend university.

To conclude

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, it is believed that

although

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there are advantages to having a large

number

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of youth in

society

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however

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, the disadvantages outweighed the advantages.

Submitted by noname on Sun May 07 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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At present time, the population of some contries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

You live in a small apartment building. You are frequently bothered by noise from your upstairs neighbor’s apartment. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain why it is a problem for you Suggest a solution.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?