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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that individuals are born to be leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In contemporary society, the question of what constitutes a great leader has sparked a degree of controversy among people.
Although
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 there are individuals who have the inborn ability to be
leaders
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, I would argue that
leadership
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 is something we need to learn. On the one hand, it is undeniable that some individuals are born with natural
leadership
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 abilities.
Firstly
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, as those who are innately intelligent are able to think and react quickly in difficult situations, they can easily become good
leaders
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.
For instance
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, even though my uncle, who is very smart, did not take part in any
leadership
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 training courses, he has successfully managed his own company for more than 20 years and has made a fortune with it.
Secondly
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, the public who is exceptionally talented would
also
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 find it easy to be trusted by others.
Therefore
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, they are obvious candidates for top positions in organisations.
For example
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, in football, the most skilful player in each team is usually given the captain armband.
On the other hand
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, I believe that people can learn to become
leaders
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. The first reason is that having talent and intelligence is not enough, and
leadership
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 is a set of skills that folks need to acquire.
For example
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, in management training programmes conducted annually by major corporations, young participants have to go through intense training in order to take up managerial positions in the future.
Additionally
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, in order to climb up the career ladder and hold
leadership
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 positions, residents need to gain specialised knowledge of their own profession. If a person lacks experience and understanding of his field, it could be incredibly challenging for him to be a good manager. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals may possess innate
leadership
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 qualities, I maintain that
leadership
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 is a skill that can be developed through learning and experience. By honing their abilities and gaining relevant knowledge, members of society can cultivate the qualities necessary to become effective
leaders
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure that every main point is as precisely and deeply developed as possible, especially with key examples and elaborations for each point discussed.
Task Achievement
While your response is comprehensive, be careful with absolute statements such as 'undeniable that some individuals are born with natural leadership abilities.' Softening the language can make your argumentation appear more balanced and nuanced.
Task Achievement
You have provided a thoughtful and thorough discussion of both viewpoints and expressed your opinion clearly, which is essential for a high task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
You used transitions effectively, which helps to ensure that your essay flows logically from one point to the next. Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant to the question.
Task Achievement
The examples you have provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points well. They support your argument effectively, contributing to a well-rounded essay.
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