Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
the massive technological revolution, plenty of work that previously was completed by hand is now carried out by machine.
Although
many would argue for its drawbacks, the use of electrical tools has had a great impact on humankind. Both pros and cons of
this
issue will be discussed below. Technology enables automation in a few tasks which were used to be done by hand and which have a lot of benefits. By using technology, the time needed to perform tasks noticeably decreases. Washing dishes takes lots of time especially when the family is numerous,
while
because of the invention of the dishwashing machines, chores can be done by the development in a much shorter period.
In addition
, technological innovations enable housewives to multitask. People can complete more than one task at a time.
For example
,
while
cleaning the house using a mopping robot, we are
also
able to make juice using a food processor.
However
, using automation in the household has advantages, it would have negatively affected humans. Since the main function of machinery is to ease humans, it might lead us to the development of unhealthy lifestyles. Actually, by using manual equipment, people can do some exercise, move their bodies, and get sweat. Lack of moving at the mare minimum surely will harmfully affect their health. In conclusion,
although
, the above development is
also
disadvantageous to the health of the individuals as they would move less and be prone to diseases, various household activities that previously required manual have been taken over by machines which efforts previously have now been taken over by machines which
subsequently
is beneficial to humankind by making their lives simpler. These advantages are twofold.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, stating that while there are disadvantages, the overall impact of machines has been advantageous. Ensure that each point you make is fully developed with examples and analysis to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your essay (e.g., "it would have negatively affected humans" should be "it can negatively affect humans"). Proofread your essay to avoid these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid redundancy for a more concise essay (e.g., "household activities that previously required manual have been taken over by machines which efforts previously have now been taken over by machines" can be simplified).
task achievement
Your introduction caters well to the topic and sets the stage for a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of technological developments in household chores.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, like dishwashers and mopping robots, that effectively support your points, making your arguments clearer and more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Time-saving
  • Precision
  • Consistency
  • Carbon footprint
  • Resource depletion
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Expenditure
  • Physical exertion
  • Sedentary lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: