IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays shops have extented opening hours almost very day of the week in many countries.Is it a positive or negative development.

#shops #hours #week #countries #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most people prefer to shop
while
Linking Words
 they have spare time.
Thus
Linking Words
 it has become a popular
free time
Add a hyphen
free-time
show examples
 activity.
Therefore
Linking Words
,these days
markets
Use synonyms
 are opening from sunrise to sunset and for the entire week.I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is a constructive development,as it brings benefits to the owners,buyers and their society. To commence with,there are various stores that are open
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week in many nations.To explain it,
firstly
Linking Words
,in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,everyone is busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their work,and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they prefer to rest rather than go out to do shopping.They can go to the market provided that they have leisure time,
however
Linking Words
,now they get
this
Linking Words
 opportunity due extended
hours
Use synonyms
 of a plethora of
markets
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,the nursing profession is really loaded with work, and nurses have to work in different shifts.
However
Linking Words
,now they can shop any day and anytime owing to
this
Linking Words
 new development.
Although
Linking Words
 owners earn well by selling their products,they earn even more by increasing the
hours
Use synonyms
 of opening
markets
Use synonyms
,and
consequently
Linking Words
,there are more jobs.
in other words
Linking Words
,when people earn more,they pay more tax to the government,and higher authorities spend that money to generate more jobs in order to provide a high standard of living.
Moreover
Linking Words
,money is
also
Linking Words
 being spent on other
amenties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 for the
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of society,
For example
Linking Words
,
Such
Linking Words
 areas where individuals earn
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 income and pay high taxes are thriving since the government has so much to pour
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 more industries and
markets
Use synonyms
 which can make more profit
along with
Linking Words
 various other benefits for their region. In conclusion,It is irrefutable that flexible
hours
Use synonyms
 to do shopping are really beneficial for all as it gives people freedom of shopping,they can go to the market
according to
Linking Words
 their comfort,and because of
this
Linking Words
 new trend,sellers make more profit which has a direct impact on their region's success and development.
Submitted by mskumarsharma09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: